Consider this post the obligatory introductory post wherein
I explain things about myself and what this blog is for. Titled “Hope and
Positivity,” this blog is what I would call a sort of electronic, publicly
available diary, wherein I will attempt to maintain hope and positivity while I
navigate my own existence, and maybe help you while you navigate yours. I’m
friendly and I don’t mind feedback. I do like to curse though. I curse a lot,
so don’t read it if you can’t handle the concept of the “f” word.
Here’s
some fun stuff to know about me. I’m relatively young, and I have an astounding
beard. I go to the gym on a daily basis with my roommate, and I have a
beautiful girlfriend who I love very much. I really hate exercising, but I do it because
I can’t afford to let my metabolism catch up to me and turn me into a potato.
My favorite color is purple and I really like the Hulk and most any superhero
besides Superman. I love scary movies and scary stories, and I don’t really do
well around large packs of other humans. Now, I’ll give you more about me later
on, and I’m sure you’ll be eager to hear it, but right now I’m going to tell
you why this blog is happening at all.
I’m
trying very hard to break an addiction to pornography that started four years
ago, and it’s really, really hard to break. It is so much harder than I thought
it would be, but my girlfriend made it clear that she wasn’t bringing that kind
of dysfunction into a family with me. Anyhow, since I’ve been pushing away from
that, I’ve found a lot of extra motivation, along with lots of anger and what I
would call a very minor depression. This blog is simply me trying to make the
best out of my situation, and in the end, that’s all any of us can do. Shit
happens. Lots of things are going to suck. Those are undeniable facts, and
moping around won’t help. This is a productive outlet that I intend to employ
far into the future which can help me with my problems and also promote what I
consider to be my only concrete passion; writing.
My girlfriend told me that I
should do what I’m passionate about, and that was when I realized that I had
grown largely complacent in my existence. Once I thought about what made me
passionate, the only thing that came to mind was writing. I’ve never done
anything more naturally than write. I took a Creative Writing course in high
school, and I figured I had a talent for it. The reason I see it as my passion
lies in the fact that I can’t do anything else with such amazing and deliberate
drive. I studied as an engineer and remembered how much I hate Calculus. I can’t
draw, and I hate business, but I wrote a story for six hours straight one time,
and I loved it. I actually came to terms
with my passion reluctantly, because I didn’t want to think that writing would
be the only thing that could make me happy, but right now it sure seems like it
is. I’ve tried pretending it’s not what I want to do, but then I remember that
no matter what happens, and no matter how hard it might end up being, and how
hard I might end up failing in the end, I can’t stop myself from doing it. I do
it all the time. When I ride the shuttle or when I start falling asleep, I’m
always living outside myself. That isn’t to say I’m boring, (I am boring, it
just isn’t to say that)but I love living with all the people I create. I’ve built
thousands of worlds and places and people and monsters and relationships, and I
feel bad that I haven’t written them down until now. Your passion is what you
do in your free time, and I write in my free time. I do it every day, and I can’t
stop it.
So, here’s your hope and positivity for now:
Follow your
passion.
Nothing is impossible.
Allow fear in, but never let it control you.
-Steven Partridge
